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Thursday, August 12, 2010

The big squish :-)

Look where I went today! Have you or your loved one gone for her routine Mammogram lately? If you are overdue for yours, I hope this post inspires you to make yourself an appointment. Yes, it squishes and squeezes and smashes and hurts like h*ll......... but for a few moments of painful discomfort, in the end it's so worth it. I'm a chicken, and if I can do it, you can do it too. So please don't delay........schedule your Mammograms on time!

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K." I said, 'let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!
By Julia Napier©

The Specs:
Panasonic LX3, ISO 400, 1/20, f2


  1. That's is sooo funny!! Leave it to you to find
    a poem for mammos. She hits it right on the head.

  2. Yeah, I was a bit nervous posting this one......but if we can't laugh and joke about these things........:-)
    See you tomorrow! Looking forward to a fun day compared to what I had to go through today! :-)

  3. Hahahaha!!!
    I'll think of this tomorrow, when I have mine! :)